sublimatedangel | Family stuff (aka, White Trash-er Than Thou)

So, my stepdad's in town for awhile before he goes back to Iraq. I just got off the phone with him, where he called me "honey". o.O New affectionate nickname I guess.

Okay, so some backstory is needed I guess. How far back, that's the question. Okay, let's skim through a few things - he's a recovered alcoholic/heroin addict. Amazingly enough, and it was really hard to face this, he was kind of a better dad when he was addicted. Time has shown me that it's probably more that he got clean and sober around the time we were outgrowing his favorite age range, but... it was difficult to finish growing up like that. I know more than I ever needed to about AA and NA because we often went with him to meetings to show our support. Sometimes I come across as cynical and hard-hearted... it's not that I'm uncaring, it's that I've learned not to be surprised when people are human and screw up things like trust and promises, and so I only give so much until I know it won't be abused. Anyhow... you're not supposed to date for a year of being clean and sober, because it's easy to transfer your addiction to the relationship, and then regress if the relationship has problems or ends. Disregarding this, he met his third wife (I think they got married, but might have broken up right before that happened) in a rehab facility, and they got together anyhow.

This was a very trying period for my brother and me. She had three kids, younger than us, and my dad loves kids. So we were kind of shuffled to the side while he spent time with them; her kids got much more lavish and expensive Christmas gifts and for-no-reason gifts/trips, and it was hard not to feel betrayed by the fact that they were clearly the favorites while we were... what? The responsibilities he was stuck with? Gradually I broke off all contact as I became an adult and moved out on my own (instead of being bounced between the households). There were some other issues, but yeah... mostly, it seemed like he'd moved on. Eventually he and Janell broke up, he moved to Roswell because it "called" to him, got himself another girlfriend-with-little-kid(s), etc. We kinda made up a few years back, and he used his business connections (he was in construction and heating & AC were his specialty at the time) to get us central heat and air conditioning in our new house at a very low cost and did most of the labor (along with my brother Jay). That buys a lot of slack for me. It gets hot out here. The A/C is a godsend. And he's been more interested in our lives, his grandson, etc.

A while back, he decided he wanted to go over to Iraq. He's got this odd... not quite a death wish, more thrill seeking and not too worried about getting killed? kind of mentality. So he's over there (working for a private company, not military) and I haven't heard much from him. I get the occasional gossip from Jay. But he's in town. And going to rent out a houseboat with his ex-rehab-girlfriend Janell, her three kids, their girlfriend/boyfriends. And my dad's new girlfriend, whom he picked up in (I believe) Thailand, whose name we don't know, who is 19-ish. Jay and I refer to her as his mail-order bride in training. My dad, he's not so good with marriage, so she might not get there. Jay asked if he could bring his on-again off-again girlfriend, Morgan, and pointed out that she was old enough to buy liquor unlike M-OBIT. Hee. Dad didn't see the humor and said no. But Jay's still planning on going I think. And it's okay because now they're off again anyhow.

OMG just got off the phone with my mom and there is so much more, I don't think I can even write all of it.

Okay. Well, Morgan and Jay are on again, so he might see if my dad'll change his mind and let her come after all. He also invited my mom (who is his first ex-wife, for those watching at home) to come to the houseboat, and said she had to "keep her clothes on". O.o This isn't a normally necessary warning, it's not like my mom is a nudist or anything. My mom and I wondered if he's invited his Roswell ex-girlfriend-with-kid(s), but decided no since it would be quite a drive for her. Also pretty sure he's not inviting his second ex-wife, because he's still probably bitter that she kept the dog (in his defense, Zeus was super awesome except when he was topping other male dogs, with dubious consent; still, only dog I know that had to be treated for an STD, so maybe his karma balanced out). My mom's leaning towards "not going" but might come if Nate & Alex & I go. Insaaaaane. And that's not even close to half of it. Welcome to my family, kids!