. . .

[sublimatedangel]

It's a very blue day. Nothing terrible.... but it seems like nothing really wants to go my way. We have arrangements to celebrate Christmas with the inlaws Thursday evening after Nate & his dad get back from a funeral. Becky's gift is ready to go, I need to finish Cassie's and stick a ribbon & bow on Mum's. We have to get Trudi's still, but that should be easy. Need to find out when we will be seeing Bob & Melanie. Honestly, I think we see Beth more often, and she lives in Canada. Sigh. Only sent her a card. I feel a little guilty that we got them gifts. It seems unfair - but - she is not who she once was. I guess she'll just have to slowly come back into focus. I feel like she's still family though.
Enough xmas talk... what is a melancholy girl to do? Dwell, sulk, or try and change this mood I guess. Cleaned a bit today. How exciting. Sigh. Sometimes, everything seems pointless. I suppose that's because it is. But usually I'm able to think otherwise.
I'm not even sure why I feel this way. What is it I want? I think if I could answer that question, things would be simpler. Oh well.

On to bright and shiny things, if possible. I thought we were supposed to be working on the hearth tonight. But now it's kind of looking like maybe we're not. He might blame it on me of course - "I was waiting for you". But it shouldn't always be up to me, should it? That's not my place. I keep dwelling on things that will only make me unhappy.