(no subject)
Feb. 16th, 2006 06:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sublimatedangelAlexander woke up at 4am for some reason. He of course has long since fallen asleep again, but I can't seem to. Figure I'd do some LJ ponderings. This is mostly a Jeff entry, but of course anyone can read and respond.
Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey's head
Mostly this song makes me think of photos (well duh) and especially the ones of people I don't really have contact with anymore. Horribly unflattering pictures of me and my Nicky (not to be confused with Miss Stasha's Nicky) in Omaha, red-eyed and goofy after staying up all night. Badly developed pictures of the people I used to hang out with at the lazer tag place - we'd gotten those fun noodle things at Walmart in the middle of the night, gotten kicked out of the store for fighting with them, and continued playfully beating each other with them until after dawn. As we got breakfast at some dive that was bearly opened, and I sweettalked them into turning on the milkshake machine for mine, I snapped pictures of the others with a disposable camera where the film had probably gone bad. They're mostly greyish, underdeveloped things, but they're the only pictures I have of most of them. People that I wish I was still close friends with.
And this is where I grew up
I think the prison outa fix it up
I never knew we'd ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneaking out
The "I never knew we'd ever went without" line speaks to me a lot. We were never rich when I was young... living with the carnival for a while, then later in and out of various apartments and living with my grandma. I have so many memories of cars breaking down, and I know now that money must have been tight. I think we learned not to expect things, because there wasn't always money, but honestly our parents did the best they could, and I never felt like I went without. And when they could, they did do their best to give us our every heart's desire.
And this is where I went to school
Most of the time I had better things to do
Criminal records said I've broken twice
I must have done it half a dozen times
Don't remember if I've told you this already, but probably have. We had a slew of cousins, mostly boys, and the oldest was Billy. His parents weren't the best examples, and he was a bit of a delinquent from the moment I met him. God, it's hard to focus on just one story, but right, the school. I was young enough that I didn't even know what school was yet, and he was probably seven or so. Took us all down to the elementary school near his house and broke in. Ah yes, my life of crime began young. He encouraged us to take things... because of course there were toys in the classroom. The only thing I actually took was a butterfly crepe-paper art project... didn't even understand what had happened until a few years later. We didn't get caught and of course his parents didn't care. I'm not sure if it might have made any difference if we had gotten in trouble. Too many stories to tell, and he's in prison now for something or other.
I wonder if its too late
Should i go back and try to graduate
Last man and now that it was back then
If I was them I woulndnt let me in
Oh oh oh
Oh god I
Every memory of looking out the back door
I have the photo that was printed on my bedroom door
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
I have the hardest time trying to figure out what to do with old pictures. You know, like obviously the picture of my mom's ex-boyfriend had to come out of the collage frame, and the same thing with old friends that I don't have contact with anymore, etc. And yet, I can't just throw them away - they were important to me at one time, which pretty much means I still care about them, and there's so many memories I don't want to forget. Some are people that I think about finding again, where I think that spark of friendship would rekindle if we bumped into each other. Some are people that have left me behind, and I know that that chapter is closed.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye
We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we know
We said someday wed find out how if feels
To sing to more than just the steering wheel
There are a lot of songs I associate with certain people. A lot of them I don't have pictures for, and I've thought I should maybe make a mix CD to listen to when I'm feeling nostalgic. It'd be pretty eclectic, and wouldn't mean much to anyone but me, but it'd be something to remind me of them. Of course, the first song would have to be Amie - can't tell you how many times my mom sang that to me when I was wee, and honestly I feel like that a lot of times. People seem to come into my life for a while, but very few seem to stick around. I guess it just makes me appreciate the constant ones all the more. Of course, my mom has a terrible singing voice, and I do too. Nate's pretty good and I hope Alex takes after him... there is something wonderful about having someone sing to you. But you know that.
Kim's the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
She's had a couple of kids since then
I haven't seen her since god knows when
Oh oh oh
Oh god I
Every memory of looking out the back door
I have the photo that was printed on my bedroom door
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
I miss that town
I cannot believe it
So hard to stay
So hard to leave it
I actually have a lot of places that make up "my childhood home", all up and down this coast. Some of the memories are hazy, just glimpses that I see twice - once in my memories, the way a child sees things, and once as I'll never really see them, as an adult. Funny to see what I thought was true back then vs. what I would think now.
If I could I relive those days
I know the one that would never change
Every memory of looking out the back door
I have the photo that was printed on my bedroom door
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
Everytime I do it makes me
And that's pretty much it for that song. I'm sure you must've heard it, it's been playing for a while.
What else? We're down to pretty much just two tall glasses now. I want to get some hardy clear plastic ones to replace them, but haven't seen much that appeals to me yet. Probably will when we hit the summertime and all the stores put out plastic picnic stuff. Valentine's Day was lovely... so glad we decided to do the carriage ride. And Nate had a convention today(yesterday actually) so didn't have to get up super early, and Alex stayed overnight with my mom, so we got some rare sleeping-in and snuggling, and then he made me chocolate belgian waffles with whip cream and strawberries for breakfast. Yay!
Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey's head
Mostly this song makes me think of photos (well duh) and especially the ones of people I don't really have contact with anymore. Horribly unflattering pictures of me and my Nicky (not to be confused with Miss Stasha's Nicky) in Omaha, red-eyed and goofy after staying up all night. Badly developed pictures of the people I used to hang out with at the lazer tag place - we'd gotten those fun noodle things at Walmart in the middle of the night, gotten kicked out of the store for fighting with them, and continued playfully beating each other with them until after dawn. As we got breakfast at some dive that was bearly opened, and I sweettalked them into turning on the milkshake machine for mine, I snapped pictures of the others with a disposable camera where the film had probably gone bad. They're mostly greyish, underdeveloped things, but they're the only pictures I have of most of them. People that I wish I was still close friends with.
And this is where I grew up
I think the prison outa fix it up
I never knew we'd ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneaking out
The "I never knew we'd ever went without" line speaks to me a lot. We were never rich when I was young... living with the carnival for a while, then later in and out of various apartments and living with my grandma. I have so many memories of cars breaking down, and I know now that money must have been tight. I think we learned not to expect things, because there wasn't always money, but honestly our parents did the best they could, and I never felt like I went without. And when they could, they did do their best to give us our every heart's desire.
And this is where I went to school
Most of the time I had better things to do
Criminal records said I've broken twice
I must have done it half a dozen times
Don't remember if I've told you this already, but probably have. We had a slew of cousins, mostly boys, and the oldest was Billy. His parents weren't the best examples, and he was a bit of a delinquent from the moment I met him. God, it's hard to focus on just one story, but right, the school. I was young enough that I didn't even know what school was yet, and he was probably seven or so. Took us all down to the elementary school near his house and broke in. Ah yes, my life of crime began young. He encouraged us to take things... because of course there were toys in the classroom. The only thing I actually took was a butterfly crepe-paper art project... didn't even understand what had happened until a few years later. We didn't get caught and of course his parents didn't care. I'm not sure if it might have made any difference if we had gotten in trouble. Too many stories to tell, and he's in prison now for something or other.
I wonder if its too late
Should i go back and try to graduate
Last man and now that it was back then
If I was them I woulndnt let me in
Oh oh oh
Oh god I
Every memory of looking out the back door
I have the photo that was printed on my bedroom door
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
I have the hardest time trying to figure out what to do with old pictures. You know, like obviously the picture of my mom's ex-boyfriend had to come out of the collage frame, and the same thing with old friends that I don't have contact with anymore, etc. And yet, I can't just throw them away - they were important to me at one time, which pretty much means I still care about them, and there's so many memories I don't want to forget. Some are people that I think about finding again, where I think that spark of friendship would rekindle if we bumped into each other. Some are people that have left me behind, and I know that that chapter is closed.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye
We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we know
We said someday wed find out how if feels
To sing to more than just the steering wheel
There are a lot of songs I associate with certain people. A lot of them I don't have pictures for, and I've thought I should maybe make a mix CD to listen to when I'm feeling nostalgic. It'd be pretty eclectic, and wouldn't mean much to anyone but me, but it'd be something to remind me of them. Of course, the first song would have to be Amie - can't tell you how many times my mom sang that to me when I was wee, and honestly I feel like that a lot of times. People seem to come into my life for a while, but very few seem to stick around. I guess it just makes me appreciate the constant ones all the more. Of course, my mom has a terrible singing voice, and I do too. Nate's pretty good and I hope Alex takes after him... there is something wonderful about having someone sing to you. But you know that.
Kim's the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
She's had a couple of kids since then
I haven't seen her since god knows when
Oh oh oh
Oh god I
Every memory of looking out the back door
I have the photo that was printed on my bedroom door
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
I miss that town
I cannot believe it
So hard to stay
So hard to leave it
I actually have a lot of places that make up "my childhood home", all up and down this coast. Some of the memories are hazy, just glimpses that I see twice - once in my memories, the way a child sees things, and once as I'll never really see them, as an adult. Funny to see what I thought was true back then vs. what I would think now.
If I could I relive those days
I know the one that would never change
Every memory of looking out the back door
I have the photo that was printed on my bedroom door
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
Everytime I do it makes me
And that's pretty much it for that song. I'm sure you must've heard it, it's been playing for a while.
What else? We're down to pretty much just two tall glasses now. I want to get some hardy clear plastic ones to replace them, but haven't seen much that appeals to me yet. Probably will when we hit the summertime and all the stores put out plastic picnic stuff. Valentine's Day was lovely... so glad we decided to do the carriage ride. And Nate had a convention today(yesterday actually) so didn't have to get up super early, and Alex stayed overnight with my mom, so we got some rare sleeping-in and snuggling, and then he made me chocolate belgian waffles with whip cream and strawberries for breakfast. Yay!
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no subject
Date: 2006-02-16 09:32 pm (UTC)Perhaps a photo album for all the old pictures?
I've found myself missing the old friends, and the new friends, for a while now.
Don't know if there's a solution to that, or if it's just part of "growing up" that means you also "grow apart" but it's certainly not pleasant some times.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-17 12:38 am (UTC)