sublimatedangel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sublimatedangel) wrote2001-09-25 12:46 pm
sublimatedangel) wrote2001-09-25 12:46 pm
Further negativity... mood swings are going to drive me crazy pretty soon...
Everytime I've got my emotional balance back, someone gives me another shove...
Sigh.
Yes, I'm hating my job again and wishing I didn't have to work. Though compared to what poor Stasha is having to put up with, I guess I should count myself lucky. And I try to think of it on a karmic level - with everything bad that's been happening, something really wonderful must be about to happen to balance it out. I'm cold, and my heart feels like someones been at it with a smashed brick. I'm so unappreciated here - guess I should have left while companies were still hiring. I'm scared to now - somehow I don't think being unemployed will help my emotional stability right now. I feel like some poor pack animal who keeps getting teased with the carrot but ending up with the stick. I'd like to see somebody else here carry my load without dropping it.. I really doubt they could. Oy - I get the feeling someone's trying to tell me to quit trying to be happy - every time I manage it, I get kicked back down again by something.
Sigh.
Yes, I'm hating my job again and wishing I didn't have to work. Though compared to what poor Stasha is having to put up with, I guess I should count myself lucky. And I try to think of it on a karmic level - with everything bad that's been happening, something really wonderful must be about to happen to balance it out. I'm cold, and my heart feels like someones been at it with a smashed brick. I'm so unappreciated here - guess I should have left while companies were still hiring. I'm scared to now - somehow I don't think being unemployed will help my emotional stability right now. I feel like some poor pack animal who keeps getting teased with the carrot but ending up with the stick. I'd like to see somebody else here carry my load without dropping it.. I really doubt they could. Oy - I get the feeling someone's trying to tell me to quit trying to be happy - every time I manage it, I get kicked back down again by something.